Unless the groom’s family breaks with tradition and pays for it Meat Loaf 52th anniversary 1968-2020 signature shirt (assuming the bride’s family allows it), they can do nothing about what is served. It was tricky when I got married because it was my husband’s second wedding but my first. His family had already bought shower gifts and wedding gifts and done all the things a groom’s family is supposed to do. I was a young person who wanted all the trappings. My family had a lovely shower for me. His family came to a shower my friends had, but no one in his family did anything like a shower or a lunch or even just have me over for the afternoon to get to know me because they’d done it. If the bride’s family is willing to pay for a second wedding, they will be scaling it back, and that can feel unfair to the groom’s family whose son is making hopefully is only trip down the aisle.
They can, however, get over their idea that what is served is Meat Loaf 52th anniversary 1968-2020 signature shirt “embarrassing.” The whole idea of how weddings are paid for is antiquated and sexist. It stems from the dowry system. The bride’s family is expected to host a feast as a show to the groom’s family that they are getting “good stock” and haven’t made a mistake in allowing the union. The bride’s family pays lavishly to foist her care onto another family. It’s a good sign that she doesn’t come to them “in need.” So much of that thinking doesn’t match modern reality and I am often very surprised at how many women, in particular, don’t understand the original significance of their father “giving them away,” the purpose of the wedding feast, the symbolism of the cake and what feeding it to each other signifies, and why women take their husband’s name, why in fact all women (even never married 83-year-olds) have a maiden name, but men never have a bachelor name.